Posts tagged augh

Okeeeey, exams are done. I have no brain left.

Regardless, I now have to take that no-brain and start doing homework with it.

Augh.

I have returned from GrandmaLand. And hoo boy, did that trip ever wear me out.

To begin with, you have to understand something about my grandmother. She’s rather… eccentric. And I don’t mean that in a “charmingly quirky” kind of way. She’s been known to spout some pretty amazing pearls of… “wisdom”… regarding the way things are, or should be in her mind. Mom calls them “Grandma-isms.”

As my cousin so elegantly put it, “Grandma does love us, but sometimes I think she loves the idea of us better than our actual selves. And it’s double for you and your sister, since you live so far away, and you’re the children of her only daughter.”

And boy, is it ever apparent.

To begin with, I don’t think I’m feminine enough for her.

You have to understand, first, that this is the woman who urged me to find a boyfriend in the last few months of my senior year of high school. Who told me she hoped I’d pick up a Southern drawl at college, and didn’t mention anything about success in classes. Who told me she didn’t want me to be a sports jock when I expressed interest in trying out for the soccer team at school. The woman who routinely sends me lacy blouses and elaborate pieces of the most disgustingly girly jewelry available. Usually bracelets or rings, which I never wear.

I wear nerdy t-shirts and jeans with a fleece pullover, and my idea of “doing my hair” is pulling it back. My idea of jewelry is a pair of earrings in the shape of the Aperture logo. I play video games, and I post about them on Facebook regularly. I’m a member of both the kung fu and Humans vs Zombies clubs at my university. I’m not a social butterfly; a lot of my interaction with other people comes from the computer. And, most unforgivably, I have no plans to get married and start squeezing out great-grandchildren. I’d rather get an extensive education, and see what happens from there.

It’s the same way with my cousin, too. The one who made the above comment. She just finished her Ph.D in Materials Engineering. Grandma spent pretty much the entirety of her grad studies teasing her about it. And now that she does have a boyfriend, Grandma is pushing far too hard for them to get married, and start giving her those squalling little bundles of next-generation joy.

“I can’t put ‘survived by her granddaughter, Ph.D’ in my obituary, but great-grandchildren will go in there. I’d rather have great-grandchildren.”

And since I’m planning to try for my Ph.D as well, I guess that applies to me, too. She also told me that my desire to adopt a child so as to avoid increasing the population of the planet and putting a further strain on its resources was a terrible idea, and asked me if I really wanted to end my family line, there. And one of my other cousins has two adorable little daughters, now. You do have great-grandchildren. Stop.

She must have casually dropped the word “marriage” into our conversations about five times, every day, too. Talked about how young people aren’t getting married until much later, nowadays, and marriage this, and marriage that. Yes. I get it. I’m on your undesirables list for not finding my spouse immediately. So are most of my cousins, by the way. You can tell she’s not too thrilled with their paths, either.

She’s not too keen on dealing with unpleasantness, either. If it’s difficult to deal with, or unpleasant, she doesn’t want to know it exists. This was her reason for not wanting to go to certain restaurants in the area (she doesn’t like to look at the patrons) and nearly turning down dinner at my aunt’s house.

Basically, she has this magical Disney world in her head, where all of her granddaughters are obedient, unambitious little wives popping out children, and her grandsons are married to the above, and being the man of the house.

And we’re not like that at all. We’re playwrights, filmmakers, scientists, teachers, and artists. I have some very accomplished cousins and siblings, and they’re all very intelligent, witty, friendly, and just an absolute pleasure to be around.

But it’s not good enough for her. It never will be. I’ll always be getting these ridiculous, frilly clothes and hyperfeminine pieces of jewelry on holidays, in the hopes that someday I’ll discard this stupid, ambitious dream of becoming a research scientist, and settle down with a husband and a thousand wailing brats. Or at the very least, start dressing only in skirts and swooning. Ugh.

Well, it’s over, now, and I can recharge my batteries. Over, that is… for now.

I did enjoy talking to my cousins, aunt and uncle, though. ILU, guys :D

That awkward moment when you realize that you sort of resemble Judith Mossman.