There you go, Harpy. Going to smash your heart into little pieces it is.

I’m not fond of this one. Not my best work in the least. In the slightest. Kind of pathetic.

Also had a catharsis effect, so we have that.

Now, I am going to go the fuck to sleep.

.

.

On any other day, the sheer number of stairs leading from the map room in the depths of the basement level to the lobby many stories above would have irritated her.

Today, they went unnoticed, sliding by at an alarming rate as she climbed furiously, eager to put as much distance between herself and the offending chamber and its current inhabitant as possible, as quickly as possible.

Inside her skull, a tide of hot fury and bitter abuse whirled frantically, tossing itself every which way in an attempt to break free.

Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid to trust her, stupid to let yourself feel that way about her, stupid to think she was any different…

Brushing off an exclamation of surprise from the scout keeping watch by the door, she rammed her good shoulder against it, shoving her way through into the cool morning air beyond and breaking into a sprint as the cracked pavement of the ancient drive gave way to dirt and new grass.

Idiot. What made you even begin to think that she could ever see you as anything other than an enemy? A tormenter? What made you think that the two of you could ever be-

She wasn’t sure how long she ran, vision obscured by a blinding hood of her own acerbic thoughts, but the base had vanished from view completely when exhaustion finally brought her to a gasping halt in the middle of a small copse of trees. Resting her hand on her knee and gulping in lungful after lungful of air, she let out a bitter, breathless little chuckle.

The most massive collection of wisdom ever accrued… and what good does it do you?

Flopping haphazardly down on the forest floor and curling up on her side, she let out a weary sigh, too spent to feel anything more intense than a dull ache, throbbing steadily through both legs and soul.

None.

None whatsoever.

The sting of the other woman’s words still lingered, raw and fresh, and the caustic tone echoed fiercely in the back of her mind.

“You are a sadist… you are just like him.”

“Of course I mean it.  You’ve proven it quite thoroughly.”

“My mother, died.  By your hand.”

Her mother…

Squeezing her eyes tightly shut, she struggled to conjure up her meager memories of the incident. The woman’s face swam into her head, foggy and indistinct, as if viewed through a pane of frosted glass, but there nonetheless. She remembered pressure against her faceplate, a gentle, murmuring voice, roughened by pain and broken occasionally with coughing, a drop of calm in a sea of chaos and fright.  A sanctuary. She remembered the pressure slowly fading and the voice dying away as panic set back in…

And abruptly, another face crept into her mind, this one clearer. More familiar. An older face, lined with age and worry, but kind. She could almost feel the cool hand against her feverish cheek, hear the quiet encouragement of the hoarse voice, the rusty laughter as she finally gained the upper hand in a sparring match… could feel the frail body struggling to draw breath in her arms, the warmth of blood seeping from the ragged wound, could nearly see the spark go out of those lively, warm eyes…

Pain wrapped its barbed fingers around her heart, tearing into wounds long scarred over, and she grimaced, struggling to push the memory away again.

“Do you know what it’s like to watch your mentor, your friend die?”

She shuddered, curling more tightly in upon herself.

Yes. Unequivocally, yes.

You see? This is what happens when you open yourself up to people. What happened then, what’s happened now…

Slowly uncoiling herself and rolling over onto her back, she stared numbly up at the clouds racing overhead. Somewhere in the distance, thunder growled softly.

You should just stop trying, really. You can never hold on to anything. Anything that you-

Catching herself abruptly, she cut the thought short, fighting vainly to push the remnants out of her mind, but the notion continued to swell, demanding acknowledgement, demanding release.

“OK, fine. That I love. That I hold dear. I can’t hold on to anything that I-”

Finally managing to bite off the words, she shook her head, watching as the sun vanished behind a dark bank of cloud, throwing the area into shadow. For a long time, she stayed where she was, observing the storm as gathered overhead, growling irritably and darkening the sky to an inky blue-gray. When the first raindrops began to patter gently to the ground around her, she finally stirred, pushing herself up onto her elbow and taking a deep breath.

Well, this is the last time.

Raising herself to her knees, she brushed the dirt off of her coat, awkwardly reaching around herself to get at the left side.

Never trust anyone. Never form attachments. Never show your feelings.

She gave the surrounding trees one last glance before rising the rest of the way to her feet, reaching unconsciously for the brim of a hat that wasn’t there in an effort to tug it down over her eyes.

You don’t need friends anyway. Don’t need anyone at all. Everything will be fine again once they all leave and you’re alone again. Alone…

Drawing her coat more tightly around her shoulders as the wind began to rise and the rain picked up, she steeled herself for the long trudge home.